I remember like it was yesterday. Every year a month or so before Christmas my mom would sit us down and let say the same thing. “It’s going to be a small Christmas this year guys. There won’t be that much under the tree” After a few years of this I pretty much started to ignore her. Because even though that’s what she said, every year on Christmas morning our stockings were stuffed and there was a pile of presents under the tree, almost always including the toy we wanted most.
Growing up we lived paycheck to paycheck, surviving off one salary instead of two so my mom could stay home with us kids. Most of our friends were the same way. But my parents were careful to live within their means. So the presents under the tree weren’t all bought at Walmart. They came from varies places and people, and they weren’t all brand new but we didn’t know or care. We always had a good Christmas, I can’t remember a single small one.
This year as I look at our Christmas budget and count the presents that will be under the tree, I’m temped to say the same thing my mother always did. “It’s going to be a small Christmas this year.” But I remember how I felt hearing that and I choose to bite my tongue. I don’t want to get in the habit of measuring my Christmas by how packed our tree is. I never got sucked into that as a kid, and I don’t want to start now.
Being the mom brings it’s own set of inner Christmas struggles. I’m temped to grab a credit card and make this “The best Christmas ever!” and buy everything my family wants. But I know that a day of artificial, stuff-induced joy isn’t worth the months of bills or the financial set back. So I ignore the commercials that have urge me to buy Christmas. It’s fairly easy for me to do, because I’m used to self control at Christmas. I grew up with it and can thank my parents for that. I don’t think my kids will ever have a truly small Christmas. I know I never did. But they won’t have an all out, everything they could ever want kind of Christmas either.
It’s easy now, to blow their minds and spoil them on a meager budget. They’re small and still wowed by inexpensive things. As they get bigger the lists and price of an Amazing Christmas will grow. Self control at Christmas is not always going to be easy. Each year I will be more tempted to go completely nuts for Christmas and judge my Christmas by the dollar amount or number of presents under the tree.
Growing up with parents who had self control at Christmas makes it easier for me to stick to my convictions and give my children a Christmas I can afford instead of one from a commercial. I’m confident that my decision to keep my spending small won’t affect the smiles or the joy on Christmas morning. There will still be a pile of presents and a flurry of wrapping paper. It will still be amazing, and it will never be small. Just full of self control.
Reading this reminds me of a year that my grandmother gave me the full set of Little House on the Prairie books for Christmas, when I was maybe 7. I remember afterwards she kind of apologized for not buying me more, that those books had been expensive. I remember how awkward that felt, as I loved those books, and until then I hadn't thought anything about it not being "enough".
ReplyDeleteThis is a great reminder that - especially at a young age - kids aren't likely to "value" Christmas like adults might. Just allow your children their joy, and you'll enjoy it, too. :)
I'm terrible at this. I have no self-control and I love to spend money.
ReplyDeleteBut, I love a good deal so I've managed to find some amazing things for Miss B! She's obsessed with horses and I found her a huge stuffed horse for $5 and a "like new" rocking horse for $25. There are no tags attached to it but she's only two. She'll be so happy riding her horse she won't even notice!
Such a great post. Millie's toys are from the resale shop this year, and probably will be for years to come (obviously, she doesn't know and won't notice for a long time!). I think that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy mother used to say the same thing and always bought us tons of stuff. I love your perspective on it- about not "measuring" Christmas. I would like to give Hayden what we can each year and that it all, and not give any pretense or value to it. It is what it is.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a household where we only received one or two gifts each, and I thought nothing of it. As a kid, Christmas was exciting, receiving ANYTHING was really cool. It was about having family together and eating a special meal and playing with a new toy.
ReplyDeleteWhen I met my husband and had Christmas at his families house for the first time I was actually made uncomfortable by the number of gifts I received from his mother. She's the kind of woman who shows her love with gifts. I'm still not used to it. I don't have much money, so being showered in gifts I didn't ask for just makes me feel guilty and poor.
I now have a 10-month old son. He is receiving one present from us this year (already outnumbered by his grandmother) but he doesn't know what Christmas is. I would love to whip out the credit card and spend a ton on him, but I just can't afford to.
Paying off Christmas debt blows....I've done it before and it took forever. Not doing that again.. :)
Well put Amber :). So glad you posted this! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, Amber, I love your take on this and I think you're very wise to stay within your means and not rack up Christmas debt.
ReplyDeleteEvery Jan I have people mailing me to coach them on financial stuff, and the thing is it's the mentality that has to change, nothing else.
Our kids are really not getting much!